Smudges & Blips

Exhaustion

2012-02-11T16:05:00.002-06:00

Sorry that things have been so sporadic. To be honest, I think that by the end of the day I am so utterly exhausted I have nothing left & simply want to melt into the couch, which has also become my new bed.

Lili has not been sleeping well. Ha. That is an understatement. Lili has slept through the night only ONE night since December 20th. As you will recall, we separated the girls a couple weeks before this in order to give Lili some sleep because Addi was being difficult. Well, after about 2 wks of Lili sleeping like a dream from the moment her head hit the pillow and Addi continuing to be difficult, it switched.

It started out with Lili waking and crying 4-15 times a night. She would sit up in bed and cry, sometimes sobbing our names until someone would come down and tuck her back in. If you didn't answer immediately she would start wondering around. Eventually she started trying to come upstairs to our room. Shortly there after the element of terror really set in. If she wore footy jammies to bed she would strip down to her diaper and throw herself over the baby gate that we had started placing at the door to her room; sometimes landing headfirst on the hardwood floor. We tried placing the gate at the bottom of the stairs to prevent her from coming up (as she did fall down approximately 5 stairs during the night) but she would find a way to scale it. We tried the max dose of melatonin. We tried sleeping on the couch with her. We tried a "camp out" in Addi's room. We tried bribes, threats, spankings, talks from Nana and her doctor. We tried letting her cry it out and caved after 2.5 hours of screaming. We tried double gating her room which resulted in her becoming hysterical, throwing all her toys around her room and then building a stack high enough in her room out of bean bags, blankets and stuffed animals to try to climb over the top of the 2nd gate nearly 5 feet in the air.

It has become less hysteria unless of course the door is shut. On the nights I eventually cave and let her sleep beside me on the couch she does finally sleep the rest of the night. I am not sure how to explain how truly hard this is becoming. Every night, literally, for 53 nights now, Lili is up all night. Starts at 10-10:30 like clock work. On a good night she's up only every 1.5 hours. On a not so good night she can be up as often as EVERY 15-20 minutes. Sometimes you can yell to her from the couch to go back to bed and she'll lay back down and fall asleep for another 30 min. Othernights she's nearly impossible to coax back to sleep and then when you finally do she's up again in another 30 min.

Her doctor thinks it's behavioral and that despite her fears we need to just shut her door when she gets out of bed and just leave it closed for the rest of the night. This is the one thing we have not tried. I don't have the heart. She seems to become terrified, not just angry, when the door is shut and I don't want to create a fear of bedtime. She GOES to bed well. Also, I think this is more than just a behavior. I feel like there are some more organic sleep cycle issues behind this. I mean, think about how tired you get sometimes. If you are like me, when you are exhausted you can sleep through fire alarms. So why has Lili, who is obviously tired herself, not gotten to the point that even once a week she has one of those nights where she is soooo tired that she just sleeps through the night because she's too tired to "play the game"?

She has slept one night. One night at Nana's house last month she slept through the night. I suggested letting Lili move into Nana's house, but for some reason that solution didn't take.

We are scheduled to meet with a psychologist in early March that specializes in sleep issues in children. I'm not holding much hope for it getting resolved anytime soon... I miss my bed. I miss my husband. I miss my concentration & sanity.

The irony, Addi sleeps wonderfully. Go figure. So if I seem short or am not keeping up on this lovely blog, please forgive me.

Synapse

2012-01-25T16:34:00.002-06:00

My vacation, thus far, in many pictures & few words...

DAY 1:

Spa Day

Treated myself to a french manicure- did it myself, hence the blurry photo- it's blurry for a reason, folks

My hubby was very kind a treated me to a cut and color- AT THE SALON! No in-home, head hung over the sink crap for me!

And time left over to go to the fabric store...

DAY 2:

Shopping trip w/ last of my Christmas money...

I've been wanting a red scarf forever. I almost didn't find it; I feel far too old to be shopping at Wet Seal, but alas, I was desperate- and lucky!

The Haul

Oh yeah, and I got this black scarf... Did I mention I have a slight scarf obsession lately?

cute new work shoes on super-duper sale

DAY 3:

oeufs en cocotte- or shirred eggs with bits of bread

they really were delicious...

fun new hairstyle for the day

new fabric becomes new curtains...

ta-da!

Off to pick up the girls from daycare. No work until Monday!!

Vacation fun

2012-01-25T11:14:00.001-06:00

More to come...

To Infinity and beyond!

2012-01-22T10:35:00.000-06:00

Lili- Defender of the galaxy

Royalty

2012-01-22T10:34:00.002-06:00

I haven't had anything nice to say about my girls lately. They (well, mostly Lili) are leaving me too sleep deprived and grumpy. So instead, I will just post these...

Bon appetit

2012-01-08T18:06:00.001-06:00

When trapped in the home with sick kids one must find a way to keep ones sanity... I cooked. Pancakes for breakfast, spicy corn chowder & home baked bread for super yesterday, homemade mini chicken pot pies for supper tonight. Can't wait for leftovers this week....

It's a Wonderful Life

2012-01-01T20:25:00.000-06:00

With Bri left in charge of pictures, there is unfortunately a sad lack of them. We had a wonderful time with the family, so much in fact, we apparently forgot to photograph any of it...

Lili "sneaking" open her present

A perfect Christmas smile!

A Merry Meyer Christmas

2012-01-01T20:13:00.002-06:00

Lili & Lori making ornaments for the tree

Grandpa "Good Guy" Larry & Adeline

Feel the concentration?

Addi, Grandma, Grandpa & Lili

What monsters we created the week before (their birthday)! Open, open, open... we wouldn't even let them play with anything they received, but forced them to put the toys down and keep on opening... Then a week later we are upset because they seem so ungrateful, not even looking at what they got, not thanking anyone, just asking "more presents" as the shred the paper of the next box... Hmmm...

They were very spoiled little girls this year. I think next year we will have to make sure we put more "To Do" items on their list (movie tickets, museum passes, etc) or we will be shopping for a new storage shed to put all their stuff in!

Addi modeling the cool desk and chair set she got (Lili got one too in primary colors)

Check out Addi's muscles!!

I got a bunch of nice things myself including a beautiful snowflake necklace, a giant box of yard & knitting needles, a set of ramekins, an immersion blender, super cute socks, a great infinity scarf, the matching wallet to my new purse and about a bazillion more cool things! Just proof that I was an extra good girl this year.

3rd Birthday

2012-01-01T19:30:00.001-06:00

Better late than never...

Thomas cakes ala Nana- Adorable!

The birthday girls!

What's a party without balloons & party hats?

Even Lucky got in on the fun...

Birthday pouting

Addi showing off...

Blue frosting = Blue faces

Bad Mom Moment #1895

2011-12-16T21:27:00.001-06:00

Oh my god! My kids turned three today and I spent the day at work and forgot to even stop and take a picture of them! That was all I really wanted to do today was to take ONE stinkin' picture of them the day, the moment, they turned three! Ugh... I realize this now as I finally sit down and they are sound asleep.

Favorite moments for today:

Realizing how something so trivial such as pancakes can make your day- even when you're three and you're not even that hungry
Realizing how quickly you can get ready for work if you know you want to make your kids' bday special- even if it's out of guilt
McDonalds- deliciously terrible for you
Seeing the girls wish each other a Happy Birthday and give each other a bday hug
Watching your kids light up & grow just a 1/16th of an inch with self confidence whenever you tell them you love them, are proud of them, miss them, etc. Lili in particular perks up like a parched plant. I love it!

Blast from the past:

My peanuts three years ago. Can you friggin' believe it?

Separate Lives

2011-12-13T21:22:00.000-06:00

The day has come. I can't take this bedtime nightmare anymore! We tuck them in, Addi causes all sorts of hell, you can't punish her without punishing Lili, too and soon Lili is up and at it as well and next thing you know it's 1.5 hours later of solid screaming and you are not so secretly wishing it was socially acceptable to duct tape your children to their beds. Ugh! Nearly everyone is in tears once all is said and done & we're left thinking we've probably scarred our kids for life. Not a good feeling.

Backstory: over a year ago we had talked with our pediatrician about the girls waking up throughout the night, every night and how we were so sleep deprived. It was happening about the same time each night: 11pm and 3am. She suggested trialing melatonin to see if that would help. The girls had always gone to bed so nice & neatly and of course that continued, but so did the waking. So finally, it seemed as if it was time to quit the melatonin as it wasn't doing anything anyway. So here we are. We did this to ourselves, I suppose...

So last night was the final straw. I came home from work planning simply to weed through the toys and make room for what we may receive for birthdays & Christmas, but as I started to pick up I decided that hell, why not? Bri has been pushing it but I have been dragging my feet. I've always been huge on treating them like individuals, giving them their own time/experiences, but this felt like so much more... But I psyched them up and tore apart the crib and moved Lili into the playroom, moved the bookshelf near our new "reading nook" in Addi's room. Addi's bedtime had a little less drama and tears (not much less, but less) and Lili, well, she's having the best night's sleep of her life. In the end, I think that I'm better about the switch than Bri who may or may not have gotten a little teary. I hate seeing that they are growing up, but I love seeing how they light up when they have their own spotlight. Singing bedtime songs just mama & ___. Yes, they are best friends. Always will be, but maybe now they can be Addi & Lili and not AddiandLili for a change.

Cha-Ching

2011-12-01T20:57:00.000-06:00

Fear not, I figured out what to spend my "Hey I Quit Smoking" money on...

Super cute, ridiculously priced boho purse. Soft as butter, the smell of leather... Yep, it's gorgeous and I love it. The picture doesn't do it any justice. Did I mention that I saved $165 in 30 days. I got the coordinating coin purse (for $25!) and had nothing left if that gives you any idea on what the bag cost... It sounds frivolous, but really, this is what I could have been doing every month for the last __ years. Hmmm.

Thanksgiving

2011-12-01T20:38:00.001-06:00

Thanksgiving reminds me how thankful I am for my ~~crazy~~ in-laws! Every year they celebrate with a themed Thanksgiving. This year's theme- the 80's!

Papa & Smurfette (aka Gpa & Nana)

Tender Heart Bear, Rainbow Bright, Ninja Turtle

So glad I don't wear my hair like this anymore- sad I forgot to get a close up of the girls with their bangs and blue eyeshadow

Happy BDay to Me!

2011-11-21T22:02:00.001-06:00

Yep, I'm getting up there! I wasn't very excited, truth be told. But it turned out to be a pretty awesome b-day. My ever so sweet hubby got up extra early to get ready for work so that he could get the girls up and changed and still have time to let me sleep in (a little) while he made me banana pancakes & coffee! Yummy! The girls drew me new pictures for my art frames- birthday cakes I guess (don't tell them, but I thought it looked more like a jellyfish). They also got me a cute little case for the Kindle Touch I've been working towards. Brian made a beautiful keyhook to hang my scarves or necklaces on. And then the unthinkable happened...

XXXX's

OOOOO's

Background:
At the beginning of the month I made a pack with myself that I would NOT be smoking once I turned 33. I know, I've tried a million times, but really. I don't want my kids to remember me as a smoker. I've quite before, for YEARS even. I could do it again. It's just that, well, Bri smokes and that makes it really hard to quite so I needed... incentive. So I decided that I needed to find something BIG that I could save up for to encourage me (bribe me) to quit.

*Da-da-da-daaa! Introducing the Kindle Touch! Now capable of checking out library books!* I mean, those of you who know me know 2 things... 1. I LOVE to read 2. I'm lazy and I hate going outside in the cold. I will do anything not to make more than 1 trip to the house carrying in groceries- even if it means carrying in everything all at once at a snail's pace! That's right, the Kindle Touch is for me! No more overdue books, no more late fees, no going out in the cold! Yes! So, each day that I quit I wrote nice and large the sum of the dollars it would take me to purchase a Kindle Touch. I know what you're thinking- this is going to take FOREVER! But here's the best part- SMOKING IS EXPENSIVE! Do you realize that if I quit smoking for 18 days- yes, EIGHTEEN DAYS, I would save enough money to buy myself a Kindle Touch. So I set out to quit for 21 days (some extra moola' to buy a case). As I write we are on day 19...
My goal....

Brian gave me a frickin' Kindle Touch! For my b-day! And all I could think was that I now had $90+ to spend on hookers, booze and cigarettes! No, but I did freak a little. That was the whole idea- I was working toward something concrete. I had a goal. Had. Now it was in my hands and I wasn't really sure what to do... I gave it back- well for about 3 minutes. Now I'm in this weird limbo in which I am trying to decided WHAT to do.... Trust me, there still needs to be some sort of incentive. Boots? Clothes? None of them are really solid enough... Hmmm. I'm not really sure, but I love my Kindle!

The rest of the day was good. Considering we got our first snowfall of the season (around 6 inches) it was the perfect day for soup (Panaera), chocolate cake (Satan himself- it was freakin' delicious!) and a nap. Nana babysat that evening and we got to take in a movie and eat at my favorite restaurant, Asian House (You have GOT to try the Lot Na because it is so amazing!)

Addi

Lili

Sunday meant b-day shopping. Thank you Old Navy for the super sweet deal on sweaters! I was in heaven. 75% off! I watched that total and thought I was going to shit and then suddenly, from $190+ to $50! Awesome! Then my Ulta gift certificate and me parted ways over eyeshadow. It made me feel young, single and carefree. $50 on one set of eyeshadow (it did have 12 colors in all fairness). Now that was the sort of irresponsible thing one did before they were married or had kids. I miss that sometimes. I miss not being so uptight and responsible. I miss being selfish and crazy. Today was like waking up on Christmas day just aching to play with the new toy Santa brought you... I know what you're thinking, it's just eyeshadow, right? Not for me...
Urban Decay- Naked Pallette - Isn't it just gorgeous!

In the end, a pretty special day!

"Happy 25th"- Talk about amazing husband, right?

Hair experiment 11.11.11

2011-11-12T23:15:00.001-06:00

Not the best pics... Sorry. Just loving my long hair.

De ja vu

2011-11-12T23:12:00.001-06:00

I'm in heaven...

Moustachio

2011-11-11T20:34:00.001-06:00

Addi is a riot! I don't know what's funnier, her teenage "I did already!" Or this...

Halloween!

2011-10-31T20:23:00.000-05:00

Painting pumpkins in "Papa Shirts"- a real hit!

Saturday night out as grown-up Stick People- yeah, very few people really caught on either so don't feel bad...

Kelly the Lion Tamer- if you thought I got weird looks driving to work, you should have seen the look on the
girls' faces when I picked them up from daycare... Mama? Mustache?

Fairies! They can fly!

Candy... SCORE!

All around, still the best day of the year. When else can you see a medieval wench driving a Volvo? Or a quarterback bring you a fax off the machine? Really, a great time was had by all!

Fall is in the food...

2011-10-31T20:01:00.000-05:00

My favorite season, Fall. Homemade bread. Soup. Delicious white chicken chili with dried beans (yep, none of those canned beans) made up as I went. Very, very delicious. Alas, no packing leftovers for work as it is not the kind of food your coworkers want you eating when they share an office with you all day... Beans, beans the musical fruit...

Knit-a-palooza 2011

2011-10-16T10:40:00.000-05:00

Had to make myself a new hat, too! Quick, easy & cute... Who needs a new hat for Christmas? Taking orders now... Looks cute beret style, too, if that's your thing.

Yummy, Yummy

2011-10-16T10:32:00.000-05:00

Brandi & I playing in the kitchen- Stuffed Eggplant & Curried Meatballs. Greasy & Delicious!

Cupcake hats!

2011-10-14T17:30:00.002-05:00

Ta-da! Even learned to crochet in order to make the cherry...

A million years later

2011-10-11T20:46:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile so I've got a few things to update you on...

Brian & I had the luxury of spending a weekend in Stillwater for our 5 yr anniversary. It was amazing. Perfect weather. Tons to do. Great people watching. A sprinkling of geo-caching ( I found my first!). Climbing some hills & stairs that nearly killed me. Jacuzzi. Champagne. Let's just say it was a blast. The girls had a great time, too. Gma Deb came up and spent the weekend spoiling them rotten. That first night back they were so so naughty. When I asked them why they were being such stinkers Addi replied "Cuz you mama". Hmmm...
Me: "I'm mama?"
Addi "Uh-huh. Gamma Deb"
Me: "What about grandma Deb?"
Addi: "Miss her
Interesting...

Trolley Tour- probably one of the funnest parts!

A wonderful weekend for love- and WEDDINGS!

Notice the weirdo in the mirror over my right shoulder...

Hard to see, but it's punk rock grandma

Buttons!

Veterans' Monument

This last weekend we spent our Saturday making homemade applesauce. My mother in law was kind enough to donate her apples so long as we did the grunt work. I mean she just sat there drinking wine and bossing us around! (Just kidding, Sandie. I love you!) Really, it was great. She knows just how to get to the little domestic goddess/hippie in me. Homemade bread & applesauce do sound like the perfect pair.

Fun, lots & lots of fun...

Lili, Amber, Addi

Sunday we took a trip out to the Amazin' farmyard. We've been lucky enough to go every year since the girls were born. This year brought a much braver Lili who with a little coaxing walked right up to pet a baby goat. Addi, well. Normally my daredevil, was quite scared of pretty much all the animals. She summed it up pretty good on the way home from daycare today saying, "I go farm, mama. I no like goats. I hide wich you. No like goats, mama." Yep, you don't like goats... or puppies, or kitties, or lamas, or camels or about anything else with a face or fur. Cried the whole time until we just had to leave the barn and let Papa and Lili explore. We did get her on a pony for a ride and she seemed to love that, though. Go figure. They had a lot of fun, all in all. Even picked out their own pumpkins to paint later. Hopefully next year our Addi will be feeling a bit braver.

Lili

Floating the duckies

Abnormally Long Torsos

2011-09-21T22:00:00.000-05:00

Yes, thanks to my husband's genes & my girls' abnormally long torsos we had the pleasure of buying new car seats today. It has been hard to find forward facing seats that have a harness strap that is ABOVE their shoulder (did I mention I am now a certified car seat safety technician?). They DON'T meet the height requirement and don't even come close to the weight requirement, but thanks to those abnormally long torsos, well... You get it. But we finally found one that fits good, will allow them to wear their harness up to 40 lbs and fits in the vehicle well. Not to mention reasonably priced. When buying two of everything it must always be reasonably priced. What? $15 for a pair of super cute little girls shoes? Awesome! Oh, wait. That's THIRTY DOLLARS! WTF! They don't really need shoes, I guess. I mean, maybe those slipper socks could work on dry days... or maybe they could just wear their galoshes everywhere. I mean, people will think their fun & quirky... "Look at those TWINS! And what cute galoshes!" Yeah, that's it...

It has been a solid month of this. Car breaking down... TWICE! *Ka-ching* Washing machine broken- service call *Ka-Ching* New washer needed *KA-CHING* Dizziness & MRI & a million and one doctors visits *KA-CHING*

Good thing those car seats came in fairly big boxes. I shall be able to re-purpose them into a den & master bedroom that we can add onto the playhouse when we have to move in...

Religion & politics

2011-09-06T18:10:00.001-05:00

Raising children has taught me a lot about religion & politics.
1. My life has had too many happy accidents for me not to believe in a creator
2. Sometimes it is necessary to lie to the "people" for their own good. Chicken nuggets will make you grow strong...
3. This is a dictatorship disguised as a democracy. You can eat your chicken nuggets or you can go to bed. You do have choices...
4. Rule by fear. If you don't eat your chicken nuggets we will never buy chicken nuggets again.
5. God punishes the wicked. Mostly through naughty kids who constantly fight & throw tantrums.
6. There is a time for every season- to love, to shake your head in frustration, to cry on the back step, to be thankful....that you didn't have triplets!

Hold on, it's a doosey!

2011-09-01T21:47:00.000-05:00

Alright. Please forgive my somewhat absence of late. I am about to catch you up...

So there has been so much going on around here. Besides Lori's wedding (Yeah!) we had the joy of my baby, baby sister Erin coming home from Kuwait for a quick visit. She will be stationed there until late this fall before coming back to the states this spring. We haven't seen her since Christmas so it was so nice to have her home. These things are weird in that the entire time it was so very hard to make it meaningful as immediately it felt as if she hadn't been gone but a week. Whether that is good or bad I don't know, but it is comfortable and yet it is happy.

My dearest mother in law has recently found out she has cancer. How much of the details she would like me sharing I don't know...(please forgive me Sandy if I cross some sort of line). Luckily, it was found early (another example of why you should all be doing your preventative care!). She had a lumpectomy, but unfortunately this wasn't sufficient enough and is undergoing surgery tomorrow for something more radical. She will have her mastectomy & reconstruction THE SAME DAY. It is amazing to me what they can do now. Her procedure is quite new, very intensive and if it wasn't for all this cancer stuff, I might be a little jealous. I asked Brian to start me a "Tips for Tits" jar at work a long time ago and have yet to see a dime! Enough goofing... We are all very confident & hopeful, but uneasy just the same as I am sure any family would be. Please send her your prayers and good vibes!

Our car has been in and out of the shop. We have been traveling to and fro. And in the midst of all of this I have been having a lot of dizzy spells. Dizzy for lack of a different word. "Off" or "Skewed" might be closer. Usually it lasts for only 1 minute tops, sometimes 5. It's gotten very bad while I am driving and have periods in which it is up to 75% of my day. I've gone through a battery of testing and unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) they haven't found anything. No MS *whew*. No brain tumor *whew*. So now we are going to call it "motion sickness" though it doesn't really fit that... I will be trying some sensory physical therapy to desensitize myself to issues with motion. Seems a bit like a wild goose chase, but nothing else seems to fit either.

We've also had some big changes at work which has also made things a bit crazy. For those who don't know, I had been working at our local pediatric clinic in our Health Care Home program doing the pre-visit planning. Floor nursing had not been very satisfying, on a personal level, and so I had made the transition to an office job to give myself a little break from patient care. Floor nursing required speed & efficiency, but then left little room for true patient interaction/care. I lost my empathy in it. I was becoming Nurse Ratchet. Pre-Visit planning has been fun, I feel like an investigator going through charts and picking up pieces that my have fallen through the cracks and catching near misses because of the gaps in an ever growing healthcare system. It has removed all portions of patient care and I have missed that. So now, my BFAW is leaving her position as our Health Care Home Care Coordinator and filling the role as the unit's nursing supervisor. We have decided to change the role a bit and split it between 2 people now as it was very quickly becoming overwhelming. I will now be one of those two people along with Sarah (Yeah!). I am excited for the transition as it can be a very personally rewarding role and allows for the development of that relationship/interaction with the patient (which I have been missing). Our HCH program is geared toward our kids with special healthcare needs and the care coordinator position allows for these families to have a constant contact within the clinic that can help them navigate "the system" both in the clinic and out. I had the opportunity to work in the role when Beth was out on maternity leave and I have continued to help out here and there as my current role allows which is a comfort in the move. However, this will mean that we are going to have to work short for a little while and it will definitely be overwhelming and stressful for some time. With giving up smoking I have found it much harder to deal with stress and have not yet found a "replacement" for that anxiety, etc. If anyone has any tips other than deep breathing or counting to ten before just turning around and biting someone, I would love to hear them!

For the longest time I have tried to convince myself that I am a mellow, laid back person. I am slowly realizing that maybe when I was younger (and maybe smoking dope!) that may have been somewhat true. But really, I am fairly high strung. So I have been working very hard on finding things to rejuvenate me. My BF, Brandi, and I have something fun we are planning for our ladies night out each Wednesday (more TBA at a later date). I have taken on a couple craft projects. All things quick & easy, but satisfying. I swear each day that I am going to take up yoga again. I never felt so good, both mentally, physically & emotionally as I did when I was doing yoga regularly. So why oh why is it so hard to give up 30 minutes to do it? (Maybe because I don't feel like I have 30 minutes!)

Anyway, that's our crazy crazy roller coaster that we are currently on. So, please forgive me as I come home each night too tired to even lay on the couch and set aside my stress and my anxiety to type. Anything I have left at the end of the day is going back to my kids & my hubby right now. I will try to post fun little things as I can, but if not, just know that I am probably exhausted and asleep while Scooby Doo plays in the background with my kids sleeping beside me on the couch (yeah, that's where I found us at 8:45 tonight).

A little romance

2011-08-28T16:14:00.001-05:00

For those of you that don't know, when it comes to technology I am usually behind the times. Thanks to Erin I recently discovered the use for YouTube other than 'double rainbow'. I have been watching hair and makeup videos like crazy. Then Scarlet was nice enough to turn me onto craftgawker.com and my world changed forever. If you are like me and dwell in a cave, OMG you HAVE to check it out. See the headband I made... I feel pretty oh so pretty...

Catching up: Episode 1

2011-08-23T20:11:00.000-05:00

Michael & Lori's Wedding...

Here comes the bride..

The proud parents of the bride

Erin & Lili at the reception

The happy couple

Thank god for Ellie.... & that bottle of wine up top!

Addi eating her cupcake

Lori eating hers...


Centaur Mike- Door prize won by Jennifer

Beautiful, simple, elegant & fun. Welcome Michael; Hey brother!

2011-08-18T22:07:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately, there has been sooo much going on lately that it has been impossible to write (health issues, work changes, weddings, etc). I will try over the weekend to throw up some pictures, but hopefully I will be able to tell you all about it soon. Yes, I know it has been weeks!

Until then, my sister Lori recently got married and Bri decided to teach the girls how to say her new name... I lied, he didn't try at all. Instead he taught them to say something similar...

Congrats to Michael & Lori "Fingerbuttsin" he-he-he.... finger-butts-in....*giggle*

A Perfect Example

2011-07-28T21:08:00.000-05:00

Here, my friends, is a perfect illustration in the difference between my two girls (no pun intended). It is a frequently posed question. Lili- serious realist; Addi- abstract, color-field. I think this applies not only to their inner artist, but their personalities as well. Interpret that how you wish.

Lili- "Person"

Addi- "Person"

Can you guess between the last two who's is who's?

Ladies day

2011-07-27T07:56:00.001-05:00

No daycare. Home with mama...

Homemade, from scratch honey & honey homegrown raspberry muffins

I can't forget these!

2011-07-19T21:53:00.000-05:00

This took many hours of dedication on their part. Obviously not recently as it has been FAR TOO HOT for anything like that! Afterall, the heat index for tomorrow is for 120-140 degrees! Yikes! Or as Bri would say, crapsticks!

These last few were taken at the ONLY music in the park we have been able to make it to this summer. A bit of a bummer to keep missing them, but it sure was fun when we went. Maybe now you can understand what I mean when I describe my ladies as "chaos in motion"...

I almost forgot I had a blog...

2011-07-19T20:53:00.000-05:00

So we are playing catch-up...

Lake Pictures from the 4th of July:

For Father's Day we had gotten Brian a guided fishing tour that he took with his father and brother-in-law. It sounds like it was worth every penny and then some:

And making pictures for Nana should never be done with markers...

Sorry, it's been pretty crazy so that's about all I have time for today...

Home Sweet Home

2011-07-04T17:40:00.001-05:00

What a weekend! Friday saw a vicious line of storms sweep through the state. As we drove south to visit "Gamma Dib" we found ourselves driving straight into it. The radio made us believe that we might miss it, but the sky turned from dark blue to a strange green color I can't begin to describe. We were only a few miles from Aunt Lori's and called to see if she was home yet. She informed us that she was just leaving work and that the wind had turned strange and that none of the radio stations located in town were coming in.

Just moments after hanging up, the first piece of hail struck our windshield, at that time only a week old, cracking it a few inches. My phone sent a text from Lori saying "Sirens!" and we turned onto the first gravel road we could find and stopped at a farmhouse. Three dogs outside, but no one home. We briefly debated driving into one of the sheds on the property or trying to drive to another house. I won't lie, we were terrified! We opted for the latter, and as we approached the next house, noticed that the lights were flickering on and off before the went completely out.

Brian ran up to the door and a young girl, Courtney, all of about 16, invited us inside. She suggested we move our vehicle under a nearby tree to keep it out of the hail, but we were only interested in getting the girls inside. The electricity had gone out and so we blindly followed her into the basement where she quickly cleared a spot out for us and a cute couple of baby kittens to hide in a small room beneath the stairs. All the while, you could hear the winds (up to 93 mph) whistling through the walls (though there were no nearby windows). The sky was black and we waited in the dark with a pair of near dead flashlights and the light of a cell phone.

Eventually, things cleared and we made our way upstairs to take in the destruction. A tree had been uprooted and was leaning on the house; the tree we were supposed to park under had come down and was blocking the driveway. Courtney's mother and brother soon arrived (they were forced to take shelter at a nearby home because it became to unsafe to continue) and informed us that a tree had fallen across the bridge we had crossed to get there and we were forced to take an alternate route out. When we left, we had to drive through the neighbors lawn and another tree was blocking that side of the road. The electricity had still not come back on as there were lines down all throughout the countryside. We were so blessed and so lucky to have found shelter at the Werpy home! Thank you so much!

We made it to Auntie Lori's and surveyed the damage at their home, which thankfully was fairly minimal, and throughout Marshall which was quite extensive in some areas. However, it wasn't until you got outside city limits that you really saw the destruction. An overturned Semi, homes missing roofs and walls and farm equipment in the fields and ditches. I have not been so scared in a long time, but it reminds me to stay thankful of every cute, cuddly, frustrating minute!

Close Up

2011-07-01T13:00:00.001-05:00

Here's a closer look at what I have been up to.

I will keep posting as I make things...

A Whole Lotta S***t Rolled into One

2011-06-30T21:29:00.000-05:00

No work tomorrow! Or Monday, for that matter. Playing catch up, as usual. Here is our last weekend. Local festival season. Balloons, bouncing, ice cream, ponies and naps. Think that about sums it up. This weekend is yet to come, but I know it will be fun spending time with family and all of those we love.

Addi

Lili

I am in love with the top two photos and am currently making a little something of them. Little japanese goco wonders similar to the bicycles (which was a terrible picture, I know. There will be better ones some day soon, I hope). I have been feeling quite irritable of late. Most of it I am sure is related to quitting smoking (yes, AGAIN! Ugh. Lay off already!) though that has been 1 whole month already. Part of it has been this feeling of never having time to myself, which is hard for my extrovert of a hubbie to empathize with. I often feel overwhelmed with being a worker-bee, mother, wife, chauffeur, friend, etc that I never feel as if I get a moment to myself. What I realized of late, is that perhaps I do get some time to myself, but not perhaps, quality time. There are so many things I enjoy doing and so little time. I had been spending much of that time reading, but that is a hard thing for me to use as a recharge as it often just leaves me yearning for more, dying to know what happens next.

I have found my way back to creation, to "art" I guess, though some may not call it such. I have found that making things with my goco, besides fun, seems to make these things less "precious", therefore, freeing me up to make things I would not normally make. I've had a block for such a long time, still do I suppose when holding a paint brush, that making such trivial things such as cards, tshirts or stationary is allowing me to try new things without the pressure. I am not sure that this is anything that will make sense to many of you, but that is alright I suppose. It is still cathartic. I have missed it more than I would have guessed. It is these sort of things that refuel me and raise my spirts and remind me that I am Kelly as well as all of those things that I named above. I am more than my roles. As the spanish philosopher Ortega y Gasset says: " I am me and my circumstances".

I have also been feeling for quite awhile, since before my kids where born even, that I am losing parts of myself that I really like. Things such as my open-mindedness & ability not to be so judgmental, my quirky, my laidback-edness, my fun, goofy, silly part of me that laughed loud & often. Maybe it is some disease of adulthood, but I want it back. So, in hopes of hanging onto that, I decided to go ahead with something I had been wanting to do for years. I got a tattoo. One that I love and have longed for, full of images and meanings that speak to me on a level that I am not sure I can really explain, and that the fist shaker in me had been telling me I couldn't get for all sorts of ridiculous type reasons. Reasons like: What will your co-workers/clients/kids/strangers think? People will think you are white trash. People with think you are a bad mom. How will they look when you are older? You won't be "attractive" anymore? Blah,blah,blah. Then I realized, this is something I really wanted, that makes me feel sexy, and though people may doubt it, I am damn good at what I do and there are no kids in the world that know their mother loves them more than my kids do. I have another tattoo on my wrist which is the symbol for "imperishable-ness of self". I will be true to myself. That is what makes me happy and proud of who I am. Also, my muscles look even more bad-ass now so maybe think twice before you mess with me! And I would hope that when I am 80 y/o I will have gotten past such vanities and be happy with myself and my life, or at least be more worried about the fact that I know have to lift my breasts to wash out my bellybutton. Ha, just kidding, other than the part about looking B.A.- I won't lie, I've been flexing a lot in the mirror... Laugh it up!

Just the outline & shading. Color to come in a couple weeks.

Oh how I have missed you...

2011-06-27T18:01:00.001-05:00

Goco, my japanese love thing. We have been apart far too long. But I see a long and happy future for us...

Made the bikes last night. Stationary, cards and soon t-shirts!

Because He Didn't Think I Would Do It...

2011-06-26T09:38:00.000-05:00

While trying to video Lili's breakfast compliments...

Mmm mmm mmm, Delicious

2011-06-26T07:38:00.001-05:00

That's what Lili has told me about a dozen times today regarding the rolls. Yes!

As for the pictures, well, that's their delicious face...

Watch Your Fingers

2011-06-23T21:34:00.000-05:00

Addi feeding Lili "O's". I know it's long, but if you wait it out until the end you get to see where Lili's cheerios apparently burst into flames (?) and burn her or something. It's a pretty sweet freak out.

In the Garden

2011-06-11T09:09:00.000-05:00

Just some photos about the yard... Haven't shown you my finished flower bed since I got my planting in. It's thriving, that is, except for the ornamental grass that has gotten a buzz cut from those obnoxious rabbits!

My first Clematis- planted 3 yrs ago

The persistent honeysuckle that is growing through all the other vines on my fenceline

Sweet Williams

Poppies

Creeping Geraniums

Peonies any day now...

Addi swiping my gnome

As you can see, she inherited my photogenic gene :)

Liliac

Spoiled Rotten

2011-06-04T13:31:00.001-05:00

Visiting gma Deb & gpa Larry. Spoiled & loved. New Dora & Spongebob swimsuits, goldfish & cartoons. What could be better?

Here's Hoping Your House is Made of Brick

2011-06-02T21:23:00.000-05:00

Addi in her stage debut playing the part of the Big Bad Wolf. Mama and Lili playing two of the three little pigs. See if you can decipher this... We only played this game, reversing rolls occasionally, for about 30 min straight! I did not teach them this. Just a cute surprise I found when I started with a "little pig" line. They are continuously amazing me.

Memorial Day (or Bribery Will Get You Nowhere)

2011-06-02T21:07:00.000-05:00

Our weekend started out with baths & a pre-bedtime dance off. Boy can they wear a person out! This is the only break they took, stopping with Papa to play a song. Lili literally bounced off a wall. Insane, sweet fun that makes me feel like I'm living in some cutesy Hallmark movie. I love it!

My Sunday morning breakfasts slowly changed to Saturday mornings when Bri started going to church which led to Saturday morning breakfast with a sprinkle of cursing & hurt feelings. I am convinced that my children can sense when I have actually spent more than 5 min prepping a meal and therefore refuse to eat it. All the while, of course, whining and fighting and pulling every bowl out and generally driving me nut! So in hopes of a more relaxed weekend my hubby took the reins, let me sleep in a bit and mad this delicious breakfast of egg, cheese & jalapeno bacon sandwiches. A perfect 10.

Sunday we decided on a last minute trip to the Little Falls Zoo. We called up out neighbors Andrew & Rachel and made an impromptu trip with our kids. What a blast! Having never been there before I will admit, I didn't have high hopes considering it is in city limits of a small town. Here is just a bit of what we saw:

Turkeys

Addi peaking at a bunny


the cutest bear cubs ever

Lili peeking at the bear cubs

In addition to that there were cougars and tigers and my personal favorite, peacocks. Particularily the albino peacock that scared the sh*t out of Addi! I what you're thinking, it probably wasn't funny and is definetly not polite to seek entertainment in your daughters terror. Well, it was and I will anyway. It came simply trotting up the road and as it got just past us it let out a very loud caw. Addi's eyes tripled in size and she instantly took off running in shear panic. It was hysterical. In all truth, they were both very leary of most of the animals there particularly if you could get anywhere near them.

Monday, we went to a barbeque at a friend's house. There was great food, live music and tons of fun. I had fun picking out something cute and summery for the girls to wear and decided to once again attempt to actually photograph my children simultaneously. Do you think I could even get just one pic of them smiling?! Hell no! Just this far away zoned look as they watched Super Why on TV. Ugh, but as soon as you give up they turn into little hams and will give you smiles but never, ever at the same time!

Good thing they are cute... I also vowed to potty train them over the long weekend. By attempt number four (with some pretty good successes in there) Lili was running around the house yelling "No WAY!" & "No go potty on potty chair!" So I decided to resort to bribery. Cute Minnie Mouse underpants. Boy did they LOVE them...

for about 10 minutes and they they wanted them off. I have since decided that they will potty train when they are ready and if that means age 10, well so be it. It's not worth the headaches, the running, the crying (them and nearly me) and the anger. Throwing in the towel, folks... Again, good thing they are cute!

Favorite Things #28

2011-05-27T20:08:00.001-05:00

We finally put the swing back up in the sun porch. After all, it was one of the reasons we fell in love with the house. The girls love it too. They must have lain on it for a half hour while I pushed them alternating between napping and pretending to nap.

Silly Lili

Next on the list, our cowboy hats. Go figure, we would fall in love with them just as our noggins are outgrowing them...

Lili jammin' out

Addi on a serious solo

Our other love? Our "rocktar". Yep you heard me. Rocktar. Not guitar. Correct them all you like, but to them it is a rocktar. The best part is they jump around yelling "Rock!" as they play. Not too sure where they picked that up, but I adore it!

Addi

Lili

And last, but CERTAINLY not least... Bubble mowers! Oh how they love them. Me too. Kinda wish they made one in my size. I might help out with cutting the lawn more often!

The Great Outdoors

2011-05-10T20:45:00.000-05:00

We have been busy lil' bees here at the W household. We have decided that this year we will be concentrating our efforts on the backyard. It is where we spend the majority of our time. After making a giant mess of things and being told I can no longer "help" in the future without first asking, I finally have a new flower bed, freshly tilled as is the garden.

My beautiful, adorable and ever so thoughtful daughters bought me the most beautiful "Ramblin' Red" climbing rose. Just what I asked for! I've been wanting to try my hand at roses. I did not hesitate to give it a prime piece of reality that both passers-by will be able to admire as well as those of us hanging out back. The things can apparently grow up to almost 10 feet in a year! Shouldn't take too long to get established so long as I don't kill it first! I've been doing a bit of research and have decided that perhaps that combined with good soil and dumb luck might be just the thing.

I have also planted my hydrangea bush that I got about two years ago. Thanks to the previous location and Bri's thoroughness with the weed-wiper, this is as tall as it has ever gotten. So far, one small sprout. Hopefully it shall amount to more here in it's new locale. Tomorrow will hopefully allow for a trip to buy mulch and a couple more plants. Bri will also be picking up some new fencing for my clematis that looks like may actually grow this year!

If you look real close you can see one small bud near the lower right...

My new guest- Thanks Sandie

Brian put in a good 10+ hours, but finally conquered the playhouse. I'm not sure that it could have come in anymore pieces. The girls love it, particularly Lili, who when she isn't playing Warden and locking people inside yelling "No Get Out!" is busy feeding everyone green beans as she slaves away at the stove. At one point she grabbed the phone (yes it came with a pretend phone and a real working doorbell) and was talking to someone before she had to tell them "No talk now" and proceeded to hang up so she could get back to her hungry lodgers.

Kitchenette full of "green beans"

It's been exciting to see all of the things that I have planted in the last few years popping up and filling in. It's looking real nice. Hell, my rhubarb is flowering already. I don't know that I can be held accountable for any of it. I have a good heart, but am pretty poor on the follow through that comes with gardening. Oh well. Whatever it is, it is working. All in all, it's been a laborious but productive spring and it shant be long before we are sitting back, drinking margaritas and taking it all in.

Sing Song

2011-05-10T20:31:00.000-05:00

A really terrible version of "Rainbow Connection" with the world's cutest backup singer, Addi! It's been something I've sung to them since before they were born. I never thought they were ever really listening...

Easter

2011-04-25T21:19:00.000-05:00

As you may have noted from the previous blog, we spent Easter with my parents. It was a blast. Riding trikes, blowing bubbles and an Easter egg hunt! My grandmother was home from Arizona, allowing us to be part of the Welcome Wagon, as well.

I will share with you a small secret... I LOVE blowing bubbles. I think i enjoy it more than the girls. I love too see how many I can blow, how big I can blow them, can I catch them again? and I especially love to spin in a circle and let the bubbles create themselves. Yeah, I know. But it's the kid in me. I long for a giant bubble wand that I can enjoy under the guise of entertaining my kids. I want a bubble mower. I want a bubble gun. I want bubbles all summer long!

Car Pool Lane (or Driver's Training)

2011-04-25T20:24:00.000-05:00

Of course we are too little to reach the pedals... So we improvised! Can't say for sure who had more fun.

To Erin with Love...

2011-04-25T19:52:00.000-05:00

Rain or shine

2011-04-22T10:43:00.001-05:00

Easter egg hunt, here we come! Just try and stop us!

P.S.

2011-04-20T17:37:00.001-05:00

I forgot about Lili's new "face" in my list of new favs...
Who can't help but snicker at the one eye scowl?!

Keepers!

2011-04-18T21:03:00.000-05:00

Here are a couple of the keepers from the last month. Before we start, though, I would like to share a few of my recent favorites:

1. Addi's new phrase "Outsidealittlebit?" as if it is one word. Usually accompanied by a head tilt.
2. "Love you guys!" shouted in unison in response as I leave in the mornings.
3. The fact that we don't quite know our pronouns, i/e "Mama play with you! Mama play with you!"
4. When they fall down and you tell them to just "shake it off" they literally stand still and start to shake.
5. They sometimes think they are dogs and will pant, crawl & lick.
6. The recent discovery of the doctor play kit has developed a love for the band-aid cuff. Lili wears it and really whimpers.
7. Everyday routine has yeilded the phrases "Nigh-Nigh first!" (pointer finger up) EVERY night, and when you tell them to take little bites or slow down they inevitably say "Don't choke" only a dozen times.

Attempts at photographing 2 yr olds...

2011-04-18T20:41:00.000-05:00

So, any of you have ever had a two year old know that it is best described as attempting to photograph chaos in motion. I have been having fun dressing up the girls, just a bit, for some various celebrations we've attended. I have since come to realize that I will never in the foreseeable future have a nice, sweet picture of my girls together. Nope, just not happening. Here's a few from the "Reject" pile. Enjoy!

Smudges & Blips

Exhaustion

Synapse

Vacation fun

To Infinity and beyond!

Royalty

Bon appetit

It's a Wonderful Life

A Merry Meyer Christmas

3rd Birthday

Bad Mom Moment #1895

Separate Lives

*Cha-Ching*

Thanksgiving

Happy BDay to Me!

Hair experiment 11.11.11

De ja vu

Moustachio

Halloween!

Fall is in the food...

Knit-a-palooza 2011

Yummy, Yummy

Cupcake hats!

A million years later

Abnormally Long Torsos

Religion & politics

Hold on, it's a doosey!

A little romance

Catching up: Episode 1

A Perfect Example

Ladies day

I can't forget these!

I almost forgot I had a blog...

Home Sweet Home

Close Up

A Whole Lotta S***t Rolled into One

Oh how I have missed you...

Because He Didn't Think I Would Do It...

Mmm mmm mmm, Delicious

Watch Your Fingers

In the Garden

Spoiled Rotten

Here's Hoping Your House is Made of Brick

Memorial Day (or Bribery Will Get You Nowhere)

Favorite Things #28

The Great Outdoors

Sing Song

Easter

Car Pool Lane (or Driver's Training)

To Erin with Love...

Rain or shine

P.S.

Keepers!

Attempts at photographing 2 yr olds...

Cha-Ching